My parents told me that they hate me, but I miss them so much! How can I get them to accept me?

I'm a 17-year-old male, and I'm adopted. I've been living with my parents until 9 months ago, when I told them I was gay and they decided to give up on me completely - they gave up all the rights and my aunt adopted me. Now I live with her and her fiance, and I love them both very much, they have been great to me, but I miss mom and dad so much! I miss them and think of them every single day, and every single day I remember when my mom said: "I'd rather have a son who is a murderer that a fag", and it still makes me cry! I blame myself for this, I shouldn't have ever told them this when I knew they would react this way. But I never thought they would disown me completely! I never see them! They never call me, except once when it was my birthday, and I'm too embarrassed to call them because I know I'm unwanted there. I miss them so much, it's unbelievable! I just was my mommy and daddy, how ever pathetic that sounds! I have friends, and good ones, but they can't replace my parents however protective towards me they were. Please don't tell me that I should give up on my parents too, because I honestly need them and I can't spent the rest of my life knowing that they hate me! Please help me!!